10 (Free) Ways to Receive Mentorship
+ 3 templates to ask for support
I'm thrilled to share that my friend
just launched a new podcast called Assigned Reading. Each episode, Becky and a guest read a feminist essay and have a conversation that’s smart, thoughtful, and deeply human.If you’re interested in feminism, equity, storytelling, and big ideas, I highly recommend checking it out.
🎧 Check out which 16 essays made the syllabus (I’ll be on the show for essay #16!) and find all of the links to your favorite streaming platform here.
Last month, I published a piece called ‘On the death of mentorship.’ The basic premise was that mentorship is a liberatory practice that we need to build community and grow influence.
Or, sticking with our hometown vocabulary, mentorship is one avenue for asking for attention.
However, I believe that mentorship’s demanding definition, our society’s fervor for capitalism, and our culture’s obsession with one-size-fits-all blueprints limit our capacity to engage in a mentor-mentee relationship.
Before we begin, I want to emphasize that this is not a list of ways to ask for advice. Given *sweeps hand out in display* the Internet, I think we have enough of that.
What’s more, it’s not exclusive to a specific stage of career. Most mentorship opportunities are aimed at folks who are just starting out, which I believe is shortsighted. Rather, these ideas are ones that anyone, at any stage, can run with.
To me, mentorship is not about stockpiling information. It’s about creating mutualistic and context-rich relationships that invite in “multiple models of possibility”1 to our lives and offer a variety of outcomes: guidance, access to opportunities, connections, perspective, encouragement, and so much more.
What’s more, my aim is to keep this compilation of suggestions free or low-cost because ACCESS.
I hope it sparks an idea or two for you.
IDEAS TO ASK FOR MENTORSHIP
Note: When I create lists like these, I like to take “capacity’ into account, which is the sum total of resources available to engage in a task. My specific capacity is influenced by being a working mother of a toddler, an individual living with chronic conditions, and a multicultural woman living in the US. Before each suggestion, you’ll see tags (HC) for high-capacity, (MC) for medium-capacity, and (LC) for low-capacity.
(MC) Show up to free events and ask questions
I recently attended a free virtual event hosted by a community for publicists. Learning about the strategy in question was valuable, but the opportunity for mentorship came in the form of asking questions. Most events, either virtual or in-person, allow some space to engage with the speaker through Q&A.
In this instance, I asked for feedback on a specific talking point for a client related to the strategy the speaker had shared. Her feedback sharpened the pitch I was planning to send and offered me insight into her perspective on pitching thought leadership pieces. Sometimes all we need is the answer to one question, or attention offered to one area of our work, to shake things loose.
Places that host free or sliding-scale events that may interest you / that I’ve benefited from:
Local art collectives (we have one in Spokane with a free mending circle that I cannot wait to attend)
My local library (I am a library superfan. If I want to do something, my knee-jerk reaction is to look and see if the library is already offering it.)
LinkedIn live (these often include a Q&A)
A local coworking business (We have one called møde that routinely brings in guest speakers.)
Your local small business development center
(HC) Volunteer
Again, I’m a library superfan, which is one of the reasons why I offer my time to volunteer there.
Specifically, I work with the writing coordinator to run live events. Because of that relationship, I feel comfortable asking Sharma, a local novelist, for advice on writing from time to time.
Extending this further, you never know who you’ll meet at a volunteer event. Most recently, I volunteered for the Lilac City Children’s Book Festival. As an aspiring speculative fiction novelist for adults, I didn’t expect to get much out of it but I was there, so I attended sessions anyway. I love how wrong I was.
One writer I met, in particular, took the time to chat with me at length about her approach to researching historical novels. When she asked me about my project, the space to externally process + her response helped me see what my manuscript has been missing and how I might do things differently.
(LC) Send an email to a warm contact with a specific ask
When I need support about a specific challenge I’m having, I’ll scan my list of contacts to see who might be able to offer support. These can range from conversations on the phone to a singular question via email.
MENTORSHIP MOMENTS: I set up LOTS of coffee chats to meet new people, and I learn something new from every conversation because I always have a question at the ready. The answers I get sometimes lead to what I like to think of these as ’Mentorship Moments’, those instances where something someone shares widens my perspective and unwittingly offers a solution to a problem I’ve been noodling on.
(LC) Engage with writers 1-1 on Substack
While I am often overwhelmed by the amount of very good writing on this platform (a decadent, juicy kind of overwhelm), I love the accessibility of it.
Some of my favorite writers and thinkers not only have created an entire body of work that I can dive into (sometimes for free) but also offer direct access through comments. For paid subscribers, there are Ask Me Anything days and live events. Some that stand out to me are:
Leigh Stein from Attention Economy hosts monthly Q&As with industry experts
Courtney Maum intermittently hosts Friday Office Hours to help writers create stand-out queries for agents
(LC) Follow up with people
Last year, I volunteered at Uplifters Live for the wonderful Aransas Savas. During that event, I was delighted to hear Cleyvis Natera’s story and learn about her writing. I had been wondering whether or not I wanted to pursue an MFA, so given her experiences, I asked for her opinion.
Then, nearly 10 months later, I followed up and told her what an impact her words had made on me. I offered something small. I said, “I know you have a new book coming out in a few months. If it would feel supportive, I would be happy to send you a list of podcasts that I know your story would be a fit for.”
She took me up on the offer, and in the process, I met her publicist — someone who specializes in literary PR, an area of the industry that I’ve been curious about. We had a rich conversation swapping best practices for literary vs. nonfiction PR, and I know it will be the first of many.
(MC) Meet local professionals in your field
As online business owners, we have a tendency to only turn to other online business owners for guidance, which, to some extent, makes sense. After all, we operate our businesses in a very specific context, and other entrepreneurs who have only conducted business IRL might not understand the nuances.
But I think that that divide in experience can actually enrich, instead of diminish, a potential mentorship conversation. They learn a little something from you, and you learn a little something from them. This might look like asking for a 20-minute coffee chat where you come prepared with questions or it might look like jumping on a phone call with them.
And, unless you have connections from your hairstylist or neighbor, it requires cold outreach. Speaking of…
(LC) Ask around for a connection
Do you know anyone further along in X industry who might be able to offer insight on Y problem I’m having?
Reach out to relatives, friends, colleagues, or the dude you met on the airplane that one time coming home from Vegas.
You never know who knows someone, and the asking itself adds another touchpoint, and therefore strengthens, relationships already in your network.
(LC) Identify individuals who are already routinely giving away time for free
This one is tougher to find but incredibly valuable. There are a number of folks who already incorporate some kind of mentorship support for free.
An example that comes to mind is Pauleanna Reid, a celebrity ghostwriter and entrepreneur, who offers something she calls Mentor Mondays. She says,“Monday is my favorite day of the week. And I want to help you jumpstart yours. Shoot me a line and let’s jump on a free 15-minute call this week. It’s your opportunity to ask me anything that’s on your mind about life or business 🧠 💡No hidden fees or offers. Mentorship is the greatest contribution I can make with my life.”
Another example is the way that podcasters will ask listeners to send in questions or come on to the show for free coaching. While the latter is contingent on your comfort level, it is one option for receiving specific and free guidance.
(LC) Read books (again and again and again)
This is an obvious suggestion but still deserves inclusion. This is especially true because, if you know me, you know that one of my favorite questions to be asked is: “Have you read…? It’s no surprise then that books have been a constant source of companionship at each stage of my life.
Pema Chodron nursed my heart back to health after a string of toxic relationships. Dani Shapiro and Julia Cameron coaxed me on as I attempted to write my first manuscript. Becky Chambers reminded me to slow down at the precipice of burnout. Chanel Cleeton lit a fire inside of me to deeply understand my family heritage of dissent and liberation after my mother passed away. I could go on and on.
These are texts that I return to again and again — that I re-engage with — always gleaning something fresh for the new challenge I’m facing. They were beacons on dark days, a rightly-timed reflection when I needed to be seen, and sage advice when I wasn’t sure where to walk next.
(HC) Apply for opportunities
Thanks to the generosity of creators, there are a variety of opportunities that are either free or offer payment to the applicant in question.
Some examples that come to mind are Ann Friedman’s newsletter fellowship (where she offers a stipend), the Editor-Writer mentorship program from The Word, or the way that La Cuenta offers development support for a piece.
And, of course, I’m going to talk about the library again. Spokane’s library district offers artist residencies, which come with a slew of resources for support and attention.
A NOTE ABOUT ASKING QUESTIONS
To receive support, you need to know which questions to ask in advance. Part of what makes the “May I pick your brain?” scenario feel so extractive is the lack of preparation that the person seeking support brings to the relationship.
It’s unrealistic to expect someone else to not only answer all of our half-formed questions but to also offer a road map to “success”. (I wish there was a way to further emphasize air quotes.)
To move from a risk of extraction to a mindset of mutualism, I recommend spending ample time in self-reflection so that you have access to clarity.
This is especially true for people you haven’t yet built goodwill with.
Gaining that clarity might look like chatting through your challenges with friends so you can think out loud, journaling with or without prompts, sitting in meditation, quitting social media for a month, or reading related books on the topic.
In the end, this kind of preparation benefits both parties. You practice widening your capacity for self-trust and deepen relationships with people and ideas and the mentor gets to show up and have access to all of the information required to address your problem.
TEMPLATES
Okay, on to the templates. If you’re hoping to ask someone for guidance (without being the awkward person asking a stranger to assume the role of mentor), here are a few options to consider based on the quality of existing connection: cold (new people), warm (you have some history of communication), and hot (you’re well-acquainted).
COLD
Subject line: Found your work via [mutual contact]
Hi [NAME],
My name is Cher, and I learned about the work you're doing when I was chatting with [mutual contact] recently.
Apparently, we're both in this round of her [title of event].
As a publicist, I'm always looking for people to refer to in the speaking space, and I really liked your energy and messaging.
If you're up for it, I would love to meet for virtual coffee so I can learn more about you and identify which kinds of clients are ideal for referrals.
Let me know if that sounds aligned (and fun!) for you.
Chat soon.
Cher
WARM
Subject line: A social request for a bit of wisdom + guidance
Hi NAME,
It’s been a bit since we last spoke, but I hope you’ve been well (as well as one can be, of course, in the year that 2025 is becoming).
I’m writing today with a social request.
Ever since we first chatted, the way you integrate your artistic pursuits and entrepreneurial ones gave me a guiding light to aspire to.
You and [our mutual contact] both do this with such aplomb that I’m eager to hear more about how exactly you make it happen.
That’s why I was wondering if you would be open to a 30-minute chat.
I’ve hit a point in my business where I feel untethered, and I’m not sure what I could be doing to breathe new life and energy into my work while building the skill set I need in this evolving landscape.
After wrestling with this for some time, it’s clear that I lack the perspective I need. That’s why I was hoping to chat with you.
If you have bandwidth for a call like that, let me know. And if you’re too slammed right now, I completely understand.
Either way, I appreciate your time!
Warmly,
Cher
HOT
Subject line: Speaking connection?
Hi NAME,
Happy Friday. I hope you've been well since we last chatted.
I'm writing because I'm starting work on a book launch in April 2025 and am hoping to hire a couple of consultants to round out my messaging and offer me some perspective re outlets and opportunities.
One of my weakest areas, as we've discussed, is pitching for paid speaking. I was wondering if the woman you're connected with for research might be open to me hiring her for a one-off consulting gig.
If you think she would be, would you be comfortable with introducing us?
Thanks either way!
P.S. I have to say that the conversation we had made such an impact on me. I'm so grateful for your transparency. It was seriously such a mentor moment for me, and I really appreciated it.
OVER TO YOU
What creative ways have you asked for/received mentorship in the past? Drop your experiences in the comments below so we can grow this list and learn from each other.
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community
This is fabulous Cher - such a useful resource. I'm going to link to it from my blog - there are so many great examples in here!